


It was only a kiss

by Zeckarin



Series: And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [32]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aromantic Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale can sense love, Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Falling In Love, Gen, Newt likes chocolate cupcakes, Oblivious Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Queerplatonic Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), so does Aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23498815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeckarin/pseuds/Zeckarin
Summary: Crowley cannot sense love. This sometimes leads to awkward situations.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) & Newton Pulsifer, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer
Series: And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523585
Comments: 26
Kudos: 131





	It was only a kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [megzseattle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/megzseattle/gifts).



> Wanted to write that one for a while!! Hope you'll enjoy it!  
> Thanks as always to my dear Megzseattle for her wonderful beta!

Newt moved his queen, and looked up, frowning. “Hm… checkmate.”

The angel blinked, looked at the board for ten long seconds, blinked again and offered a bright, false smile to his opponent.

“Oh… yes, you are right, my dear. Congratulation! Beautiful game!”

Newt expression conveyed very well that it hadn’t been beautiful in the least. He’d watched his opponent carefully for the last ten minutes, and the angel had frowned all along, obviously lost in his thoughts.

“Come on Aziraphale, you’ve never played that bad before. And if you’ve let me win on purpose, I have to say I’m pretty vexed. You could at least have pretended you were fighting back.”

The angel’s eyes widened in anguish. “Oh! Oh, my dear Newton, I _assure_ you I was not… I would _never_ … of _course_ I did not...”

Newt chuckled. “Calm down, I was only teasing you. Why were you so distracted? Your mind was clearly not on the game. And don’t think that means the score doesn’t count. You’re definitely paying for tonight’s dinner.”

Aziraphale let out a relieved breath, and looked at his young friend fondly. “You are more observant than most, aren’t you? Yes, I was… worried.”

With one expressive tilt of the head, he indicated the other side of the bookshop. Newt squinted his eyes, pushed his glasses up his nose and followed his gaze. There were only two people there, sitting on two chairs, side by side, discussing softly. “Crowley?” asked Newt in disbelief, looking back at his angelic friend. “What’s wrong with Crowley?”

Aziraphale started to sort out the chess pieces, face inscrutable. “Nothing is wrong with Crowley. It is his companion that unsettles me.”

Newt made a face, and looked again. “What? Why? She looks very nice to me… do you feel something evil?”

The angel settled the last piece a little more strongly than needed, and the noise made Newt startle and Crowley’s head snap to attention. Aziraphale managed a smile that looked more like a grimace.

“Excuse me, Newt. I think I will forfeit the second game for today.”

“Are you sure you’re all right?” asked the young man in concern.

“I am perfectly tickety boo,” assured the angel, heading to the back room. Crowley looked at Newt, eyebrows raised questioningly. Newt shrugged, got up, and followed his angelic friend.

“What is wrong with that girl?” he asked, leaning against the wall while Aziraphale fussed over a box of cupcakes on the coffee table. The angel sighed heavily, and finally looked up.

“She is… she lost someone a few weeks ago. It has been a difficult time for her. She is one of my regular clients, comes to borrow books about plants, and Crowley and she like to… discuss botany together. She is a nice young lady, very sweet...” he trailed off, looking back at his cupcakes, and started to arrange them artistically on a plate, one chocolate, one raspberry, and then chocolate again.

“Ah, all right… then why do you have trouble with her if she’s nice?” wondered Newt. Aziraphale made a face and switched two cupcakes.

“Lately… she has spent a lot of time talking to Crowley. It helped her get better. Really did her good. You know how that demon can be… nice, to the people he cares about.”

“Yeeees… I guess… but where’s the problem?”

The angel looked back at his human friend and couldn’t repress a smile at the innocence in Newt’s eyes. That young man truly was a fresh breeze in this ruthless world.

“My dear… she is smitten with him. It is quite obvious,” he explained, nodding his approval at the cupcakes’ disposition.

Newt spluttered something unintelligible that could have been a question.

“I can sense love, Newt. Believe me. And Crowley has no idea, poor dear. We have to… ah… save him, as it is, before anything happens. It could all end dreadfully.”

“What?” asked the young man, finally finding his voice back. “What the… come on, Aziraphale, it can’t be that bad. Crowley knows how to deal with this. I saw him scare away people trying to hit on him. Or you, now that I think of it. And that bloke that tried to buy a drink for Anathema last time, remember how he-”

“Yes, yes, I remember perfectly,” cut in the angel, making a face at the reminder. “This is not the same. Crowley can sense lust, he has no qualms dealing with _that_. No, my dear, this is _love_ I am talking about. He cannot sense love.”

“Could… could something bad happen to him?” asked Newt, a little worried. Could demons be _hurt_ by love, he wondered.

“Oh yes, absolutely. She could, as they say, _ask him out._ It would be absolutely horrendous,” assured Aziraphale firmly, taking the plate in both hands and exiting the room.

Newt followed, a million questions dancing in his head, and watched as the angel made a beeline to the demon and the young woman.

“There you are, dearest,” he exclaimed, leaning to kiss his friend’s temple. Newt’s jaw dropped. Crowley looked up questioningly, and Aziraphale turned to the young woman who had frozen on the spot.

“Do you want some cupcakes, my dear?” he asked, handing the plate over to her, and she suddenly blushed heavily and looked from angel to demon with a mix of horror, embarrassment, and shame.

“Oh… oh, ah, no, no thank you, Mr. Fell, I… I have to go… appointment...” she stammered, getting up and picking up her handbag. “I… thank you, I…”

“Oh, I do hope we will see you again soon,” prompted Aziraphale earnestly. The girl stopped at the door, composed herself, and seemed to suddenly come to a decision, looking back at the angel with a sweet smile, only a spark of sadness in her eyes.

“Of course you will. Very soon. I will bring an apple pie.”

“Oh, this is so nice of you! We do love your apple pie! Isn’t that right, my dear?” he answered, looking back at Crowley who was still sitting, a little stiffly.

“Ahh… yeah, very good,” managed the demon.

“That’s settled, then,” declared the girl, smiling bravely and waving at Aziraphale before heading out.

The angel watched her walk away and sighed. “What a charming young lady. She seems like she will be all right.”

Crowley made some sounds, waving his hands helplessly. Aziraphale smiled at him fondly, putting the plate of cupcakes down precariously on a pile of books.

“Are you all right, my dear?”

“L...she… love? Was in? With me?” asked the demon.

“Oh yes, quite besotted, I assure you.”

The demon suddenly remembered how to move and sprang to his feet, hurrying to the door and looking at the girl’s retreating back. “But I… Why? I didn’t do anyth… Why me? I’m not… I mean… you’re sure she’ll be all right? I’m not breaking her heart, right? Angel, I’m not breaking her heart?” he asked anxiously.

Newt, who had rescued the plate of cupcakes, gaped at the flustered demon.

“Now, now, dear, I assure you she will be perfectly fine very soon. It was the nicest way to make her understand you were not, ah... interested, as they say. Woman’s hearts don’t break that easily, you know. You didn’t betray her and you are still her friend. She will come back eventually, once the… awkwardness has dimmed.”

Crowley’s shoulders slumped in relief. “Oh… good. That’s good.”

“Okay guys, I have to ask!” interrupted Newt, eating a chocolate cupcake. “What was that all about? Why did you _kiss_ him, Aziraphale?”

The angel looked puzzled, like the answer was obvious. “Oh, but Crowley couldn’t _hurt_ the poor girl. He is completely clueless in these situations, poor dear.”

“Oi! Angel!”

“But you _are_ , you know you are. And she would have confessed eventually, and you wouldn’t have been able to say no, because you are too-”

The demon was blushing, now. “Don’t say it! I swear to Satan, if you say that word, I...”

“Crowley, my dear fellow. You have entered a courtship with a young woman once because you didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Then you _begged_ me to help you out of it.”

“But… but I didn’t know talking with her at soirées was _courting_! She liked astronomy! And then her father asked me if I _was_ courting her, and she was _listening_ , angel, and she looked like she was sure I would answer yes! What kind of a sick bastard can answer “no” when the girl is _listening_?”

“Anyway,” prompted Aziraphale, turning back to Newt, “Even if the occurrences are rare, thank the Almighty, I sometimes have to… step in, before things get out of hand. Now that same sex relationships aren’t considered a sin anymore, at least in this country, it is much easier to… ah… _save_ Crowley.”

“Don’t need saving, m’a demon,” mumbled Crowley, pouting.

“You should have told me!” whined Newt, taking a second cupcake (chocolate again). “I would have woken up Anathema. She will be so angry to have missed that!”

Aziraphale frowned at him and took the plate away. “Poppycock. Anathema needs her rest, and there was nothing to see.”

“Nothing to see? You _kissed_ Crowley!” Newt turned to the demon. “And you, why didn’t you react? He _kissed_ you!”

Both entities looked at him in confusion. Crowley finally shrugged. “Errr… it’s not like he _stabbed_ me. How did you want me to react?”

Aziraphale’s face lightened. “Oh, but I stabbed you once, remember? That time in Russia, with the bomb? When Dagon came unexpectedly to watch you and you weren’t aware of her presence?”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember, thank you. Being stabbed in the gut isn’t something I forget in only twelve decades, you know!”

The angel tutted. “Don’t be such a baby, I avoided vital organs. I simply couldn’t let your boss watch you defuse the bomb, right? Thwarting you and defusing it myself was the safest route. You didn’t even fight back,” recalled Aziraphale.

Crowley looked hurt. “Course I did! I’m good at pretending, me! Remember how I insulted you? That was good insults, right?”

“Yes, yes, I remember. What I mean is that you didn’t _really_ fight back. You didn’t doubt me, even if I was attacking you,” recalled Aziraphale fondly.

His friend shrugged. “Well, yeah. I’ll never doubt you, stupid.”

Newt reached out and snatched the last chocolate cupcake, ignoring Aziraphale’s indignant gasp. Putting up with these two, he thought, taking a bite, was the best training at raising a child he would ever get.

**Author's Note:**

> See? NO HURT AZIRAPHALE! Twice in a row!!!  
> Will it last? Of course not. I love angst and whump. Maybe it's time to put Crowley in a life or death situation. It's been a while...  
> I'm thinking about it...


End file.
